Awkward.
The other day a guy I went to school with added me as a friend on Facebook on the weekend – not a big deal in and of itself, given we were mates at school and stuff; although I do remember wondering at one point if he thought more of me than that, for a reason I can no longer remember. I accepted the invite and prepared to get on with my life, secure in the knowledge that I would now know about it next time he was glad it was Friday.
And then he went and sent me a message asking how I was and reminding me that he still owes me dinner.
Now, he was a nice enough guy at school but I have absolutely zero interest in having dinner with him, for whatever reason. I’m a big believer in the notion that a lot of the friends you have in high school you have because otherwise 3-unit maths is really boring, and not because you’re destined to be life-long buddies. Let’s face it: you put a couple of hundred people with nothing more in common than their location and, in my case, debatably higher-than-average intelligence, and you make them spend seventy two hundred hours together over the space of six years – sure, you might get a couple of long-lasting friendships out of it, but mostly we’re just filling in the time.
And yet, I’m getting all paranoid that a jokey ‘I’m sure the statute of limitations on dinner debts has passed!’ might be construed as rude, and that – in a lame-arse kind of way – this is actually an invitation disguised as a throwaway line.
So, instead of being all adult, I’m laying low – not writing on any walls, not changing my status – so’s that if asked, I’ve been offline and not seen the message yet. What? He’s got ELEVEN friends. When you’ve got ELEVEN friends, you notice everyone’s status updates.
That said, I really want to change my status. And yet, I haven’t.
Juvenile? Overdramatic? Completely paranoid? Me?
Filed under: Interwebs | 10 Comments
Tags: facebook, friends, school
Someone at work came to me the other day, asking whether she should ignore a friend request from someone she knew in primary school and didn’t really care to be friends with. Myspazz and Facebook are really bad for that — if you don’t like someone, you can either accept their ‘friendship’ and do your best to ignore them, or refuse their friendship and have the person know that you don’t like them.
That’s why I opted out of all that months ago.
I think you just need to make blatant references to your Significant Other. I’m not sure how Facebook works, being superantifacebookgirl, but can’t you change your status to “currently spending quality time with a man with whom I am in a committed relationship” or something along those lines?
Jacob – I don’t have an issue with not accepting friend invites. Sure, you feel a bit sucky, but ultimately, the person can’t see your page until you accept, so for all they know you never visit/have five friends/are totally defective.
R.A.T – See, I’ve already got the in-a-relationship with The Dude thing going on. To be honest, I’m 99% sure this dinner thing is totally platonic. And yet, this makes me no more keen to accept it …
Maybe you could just ignore it – I’m sure he wouldn’t repeat the offer. I am having issues with my significant other accepting EVERYONE’s friend requests, no discrimination whatsoever. I don’t particularly want every person he has ever met knowing about our life.
I have been somewhat hunted down by former schoolfriends. I suspect they are just trying to boost their friends quota.
I’m not sure I like it, but there’s the distinct possibility I actually WILL run into them in the street, which would make the whole ignoring the friend request thing a little more fraught with difficulty.
KR – this is exactly what I’m doing (the ignoring bit). And yeah, I do accept most friend requests, but honestly … sometimes they’re so far out of left field you just have to run and hide.
GW – This is where you pretend to be completely blind/absorbed in your phone/ipod. Running into people I know on the street fills me with such a sense of dread I actually have multiple ‘I didn’t see you’ routines worked out.
Yeah, bit sad.
This is where you pretend to be completely blind/absorbed in your phone/ipod.
I do that too! I also do this if I’m conspicuously by myself in the city on a Saturday night.
Is anyone else facing the weird occurrance of utter strangers friending them on Facebook? Like, strangers with no mutual friends at all. I wouldn’t mind AS much except that these people don’t even attach polite little messages accompanying their requests. It’s like they’ve tripped over you in the street somewhere, put mud all over your new jeans, not bothered to help you up and then said, “oh. yeah. well I suppose you want to go get some dinner now then.”
Weird.
Audrey,
Yes. I had a friend’s (insert Asian country here) tour guide friend request me and all her other friends.
Irritating.
Jacob – see, I no longer have pretensions of being cool. If I’m in the city on a Saturday night and find myself all alone, I’ll pull out my book.
Yes. Not cool, me.
Audrey – Hehe. I’ve only had the one and the annoying thing – he did it TWICE, only the second time thinking to mention that he went to the same school as me (albeit eleven years below me … which means a) there was no way I could have known him and b) I’m so old). I felt bad about it, but I blocked the sucker.
GW – When The Dude joined FB, one of the owners of a hostel we stayed at in Europre ‘friend requested’ (what a stupid phrase, btw. Is this what English is coming to?) him. We figured out that we’d used The Dude’s email address to book the room, and that this guy probably did the ‘friend finder’ on the company email every now and then and just pinged everyone that had ever emailed him. FREAK.